The Airline Dictionary

Air fare (mathematics): Unstable number that changes so fast it cannot be measured.

Airline club: Paradise-like kingdom guarded by dragon-like creatures.

Baggage sorting area: See “Bermuda Triangle.”

Blankets and pillows (archaic): Sleep-inducing objects said to have existed in primitive times.

Codeshare: Magic trick in which aircraft from several different airlines leave from the same gate at the very same moment.

Direct flight: 1) Connecting flight in disguise. 2) What civilians think a nonstop flight is.

Fog: Weather condition generated by airports.

Frequent-flier programs: Airline’s term for Pandora’s box.

Gate announcement: Vital information delivered over a sound system rejected by Taco Bell.

Hotel shuttle: Vehicle subject to paranormal effect. While waiting, every hotel van will come by multiple times — except yours.

In-flight snack: Little treats sealed in a bag impervious to all but chainsaws.

Luggage carousel: Mechanical device that always turns in a direction opposite to the one you expect.

Minimum connecting time: Time it takes for an Olympic gold medal sprinter to run between two gates.

No record: The customer went online and booked his own flight.

On time: Obscure term, meaning unknown.

Open-jaw: What customers do when they find out what their full-coach fare will be.

Overhead reading light: A light that points to anyplace other than where your book is.

Passenger: Cargo that talks.

Remain seated announcement: Phrase that creates an instant urge to go to the lavatory.

Security checkpoint: Place where TSA screeners make fun of people’s socks.

737: Response to overwhelming customer demand for more middle seats.

747: Pregnant 737.

Cheers!

Terri

The last day of the cruise, Friday, was very busy. I had to go to another wine tasting (some one had to do it!). This was a little more expensive ($25), but better quality wines. They also provide each participant with a plate of hors d’oeuvres to taste with the wine. We tasted the wine and then tasted the complementing hors d’oeuvre (he told us which canopy went with which wine) to see how the flavor of the wine changed. It was fun.

I had a third win at trivia (whoopee – another luggage tag!) and we had the finale for the scavenger hunt today. My team placed second with 63 of 65 points. Guess what we won? Right in one – luggage tags! But, it was a lot of fun. Poor Valerie, ran all the way back to her stateroom to get her camera because she had the picture of a Sabitini’s waiter on it. What team spirit!

Dinner tonight was a little bittersweet. Had to say goodbye to some great tablemates and a super wait staff.

Saturday we disembarked the ship and it was so easy. Princess has started this new system where there are no announcements and everyone has a specific place to be at a given time. It worked great and was much more relaxing than the constant announcements and jostling for position. We went to the casino at our designated time, waited about 10 minutes and then a crewmember told us where to disembark. Walked off, found the luggage, walked to the car and we were on the highway in about 20 minutes.

I dropped my mother off at LAX for her flight and headed north. I was home around 3:00pm. And, yes, I stopped at Starbucks on Interstate 5!

All in all it was a great cruise, and I’m sure I’ll do it again some day. Very relaxing with all the sea days, but some nice ports to visit.

Cheers!

Terri

Props to one guy from another ship who was in our group (I think his name was Greg). He is afraid of heights and went for it anyway. You could tell he was terrified a couple of times, but he did it. He told me afterwards he was glad he did it, but wasn't sure he'd try again!

Yesterday we were in Mazatlan. This is a great city. Much more authentic than Puerto Vallarta (a lot older, too) as long as you are in the downtown or old town areas. If you head for the "Gold Zone" where the resorts are located, it is pretty much like any other Mexican city that has been run over by American tourists.

We hired a tour guide, Ricardo Parente, who showed us around the main sights. Ricardo was very nice and full of great information. His English was easy to understand, which is good because my Spanish is less than basic. I recommend him if you are in Mazatlan - he can be contacted at Mazatlan Van Man Tours.com.

After our tour, I spent some time in Old Town. The cathedral was beautiful and the market was great. Everything you can imagine for sale and lots of bargaining. I took one of the open air taxis (pulmonias) back to the cruise ship. I really wanted to ride in one! It was a hoot.

Cheers!

Terri

Puerto Vallarta Canopy Tour

Just a short note - I'll catch up tomorrow. Wow - the canopy tour zipline was absolutely awesome! I was afraid I might wig out or something, but it was a blast. I even went backwards and no hands!! Los Veranos Canopy Tour in Puerto Vallerta is the name of the outfit I used. They were great.

Went to the Grapevines wine tasting this afternoon. I'm from Northern California, I love wine, and I can't pass up a wine tasting, no matter what the program. It's a nice program - geared towards people who are new wine drinkers and/or new to wine tasting. Robert, the dining room captain, was quite knowledgeable and had a great sense of humor about wine. It was actually quite a bit of wine for a tasting. I'd say probably 1 ½ - 2 glasses of wine total.

Dinner tonight was Italian - love Italian. The maitre ‘d cooked up a special pasta in the dining room that was delicious. The wait staff served it as a side. Speaking of wait staff. I'm a big fan of the traditional seating style - primarily because I thoroughly enjoy getting to know my fellow tablemates and waiters over the course of a cruise. I've also done the anytime style with Princess and other lines. I like it as well and always request to share so I can meet new people. The advantage is meeting lots of people, but you don't get to know them as well. Anyway, back to the wait staff, Mateo and Prawit are our Waiter and Jr. Waiter. They are great. Ready with wine and drinks even before we sit down. They already know I want sorbet every evening for dessert (more on that in a later post!)

My table companions, Daunelle and Mike, Valerie and Tom, Justine and Fred, and my mother, Barbara, are very friendly and interesting. I'm looking forward to getting to know them better. I've already recruited them to participate in the scavenger hunt! There are approximately 60 items we have to find during the week. Should be fun!

Tomorrow I am doing the zip-line through the jungle. I'll let you know if I survive - wish me luck!

Cheers!

Terri  

I am currently a little frustrated, as there is no internet service right now. Hasn't been any since we left port on Saturday. This is a working vacation for me, so I do need internet access. They don't know when it will be back up again. Soon, I hope. I've decided to keep blogging and just post when I get access - whenever that is.

It's formal night and I love seeing people dressed up. Some passengers are really dressed to the nines - does anyone know where that expression came from? The kids are fun to watch. They look so cute. One little guy (looks about three years old) is in a tux with a bowtie and cumber bund that matches his dad's. I suspect the photo department will make good money on that family!

Captain's Gala Dinner and cocktail party was tonight; Captain William Kent is the ship's master. Nice sense of humor and he had some funny comments to make during his address.

The main show this evening was excellent - "Do You Want to Dance?" and before dinner we saw a comedian/magician. He was a superb magician; jokes were a little lame! But it was a lot of fun.

Talk to you tomorrow!

Terri

For the first time, I drove to a port rather than fly. It was a toss up when I booked this cruise whether to fly or drive. The cost was roughly the same and the total time of driving vs. drive to airport, park, get to gate, wait, fly, retrieve bags, taxi, etc. was similar as well. When I factored in the hassles of airport security, the additional luggage fees, and the overall joyful enthusiasm that airline personnel treat customers, it was an easy decision. 

On Friday, I left the Bay Area and drove to LA, overnighted, and drove to the port yesterday. First, my report on the drive. I haven't taken a road trip in years - I always fly to wherever I'm going. So it was quite an eye opening experience to discover that Starbucks has become a standard at the food and fuel stops along the freeway. I suppose I shouldn't be that surprised - after all they have stores everywhere. Even had one in the Forbidden City for a while. So, why should a few along a US freeway be unusual? And yes, I stopped! 

Packing was another different experience. No worries about how big or how many containers of liquids, how much stuff to take, how many bags or how much they weighed. That made it easy to bring way too much stuff!

Embarkation was a breeze. Arrived at the World Cruise Terminal in San Pedro around 12:30 and we (I'm traveling with my mother) were in our stateroom by 1:00. There were no lines and everything moved very smoothly. Even parking at the pier was a piece of cake - and relatively cheap (only $12 a day).

We got through the obligatory muster drill. I really like the way Princess Cruise Lines handles this process. We get to muster inside in the lounges, instead of out on deck. Much more comfortable. Then up to the Lido deck for the Sail Away party. Don't want to miss an opportunity for a cocktail or two!

Cheers!

Terri

International air requests aren’t changing – the new fee structures haven’t been imposed on international flights, yet. Even in economy you can still check two bags (weight restrictions will apply), have a free meal and drinks, and usually clean pillow and blanket on most of the legacy carriers.

But with domestic air travel – everything is subject to a fee, it seems. And consumers are catching on. They frequently ask about which fees will apply to them. Most are concerned about checked luggage fees. The soda, snack, and pillow fees seem to be annoying people, but not causing carrier or itinerary changes.

I’ve had several clients choose Southwest over American or United solely because of the luggage fees. In a couple of cases, the Southwest tickets cost more but when we factored in the luggage costs, it was cheaper to go with Southwest.

I’m also seeing more cruise clients drive to the port. Clients are choosing cruises with embarkation points close to home. Cruise lines noticed this trend a few years ago when airport security became such a trial. By increasing the number of domestic ports that the ships sail out of, they’ve increased the number of choices people have to avoid air travel. Now the cruise lines are in a great position as this trend continues because of inhospitable airlines.

I’m taking advantage of it myself in a couple of weeks. I have a cruise booked out of Los Angeles and had planned to fly to LAX and transfer to the pier. But, as airlines kept up the steady nickel and dime approach to raising fares, and I factored in the hassle factor, it was an easy decision for me to switch to a 6 hour drive, instead of flying.

It has been unbelievably hectic the last week or so, taking care of my clients caught in the recent storms. Re-routing, filing insurance claims, etc. But, things are pretty much back to normal now.

So, as I mentioned in my last post here is my lost luggage story:

My son and I flew to New York for a family cruise celebrating my brother’s wedding. We departed the day before the cruise from San Jose, connecting in Chicago. Our flight to Newark from Chicago was canceled and we were re-booked on a flight to LaGuardia (I have a great travel agent :) ).

When we arrived at LaGuardia, no checked luggage. This didn’t particularly alarm me – we were in a different airport. I filed a luggage claim and got my receipt (Never, ever leave an airport with a missing bag without a claim receipt. I don’t care what the representative tells you.) with the assurance that the bag would be delivered to our hotel before the next morning.

Now here is where the 24-hour rule came in handy. My brother’s wedding was the next morning before we set sail. I had instructed all guests to pack everything they would need (including their wedding attire) in their hand luggage, just in case. Boy was I glad I followed my own advice. As you’ve probably already guessed, the luggage did not show up at the hotel the next morning.

So, we dressed for the wedding, informed the airline to deliver the luggage directly to the cruise ship and went about our day. No sweat – right?

Umm. Chapter 2. Luggage didn’t arrive on board before we set sail. Have you ever been to a muster drill in high-heels and frilly, wedding-guest dress? It was not a fun experience. Now, I’m panicking. You’re probably wondering how I knew the luggage didn’t make it. After all, the luggage frequently doesn’t get delivered until after dinner. Well, I was on the phone with the airline as we sailed past the Statue of Liberty (which is a really cool experience) and they didn’t even know where the luggage was – so safe bet it wasn’t on the ship. No worries they tell me – they’ll deliver to our first port. Bermuda in two days.

Wow, 2 days? Chapter 3. I called the insurance company. Don’t worry they said – go shopping. I now have $400 to cover items we'll need to tide us over until the luggage arrives (save the receipts!). OK, now. Tell me what is more fun than shopping on someone else’s dime? I hit the gift shop and picked out an outfit to wear that wasn’t as dressy as what I’d been wearing all day (remember, I'm dressed for a wedding), or as casual (translate grungy) as the jeans I had on the plane. Mmm – I decided I needed some makeup and that cover-up looks really cute, too!

Chapter 4. First port – Bermuda. Guess what? Right. No luggage. Up to now (four days since I left home), I’ve been getting by with laundry, three outfits, and plenty of underwear. This surpasses the 24-hour rule. I just happened to pack all my underwear in my carry-on, but it is something I will do forever more. I’m one of those people that just hate someone else handling my undies. So that was a bonus. Time for more shopping. Airline promises I will have luggage at next port.

Chapter 5. Second port – Tortola. I pretty much had given up on seeing my luggage during this vacation, so I was shocked when I returned from my day in Tortola to find the luggage waiting for me in my stateroom.

Final Chapter. So, six days into my vacation I got my luggage. It wasn’t nearly as traumatic as it could have been, thanks to my 24-hour rule. Granted – 24 hours stretched into 144 (give or take a couple). I had fun buying some extra clothes, no one noticed I wore a few things several times except my family and they didn’t care what I wore, and I found out I how easy it is to decide what to wear when you only have limited choices!

Epilogue. Home from a 10-day trip with very little laundry. I never got to wear what I packed!

Cheers!

Terri

Today in history

In 1965, the television series Get Smart premiered.

Hotels deliver to the wrong room. You think I’m kidding? I had a large group to Machu Picchu a few weeks ago and the baggage poltergeist followed them throughout their trip. Every hotel stop (it seemed), at least one bag was delivered to the wrong room. Because so many bags are similar, the recipients of the errant bags didn’t notice unless they opened the bag – which occasionally didn’t happen at all at a stop. After a couple of evenings of playing hide and seek, the group learned to verify that the bags in their room actually belonged to them!

Cruise lines don’t get all bags delivered until long after the ship sails. If you want to hit the pool or change clothes before dinner, you better have them in your carry on. And, they occasionally deliver a bag to the wrong stateroom. It will get sorted out, but in the meantime…?

And neither of these scenarios addresses the most common reason for missing luggage – airlines. A misplaced bag can show up on the next flight, next week in another city, or never.

Pack the clothes, toiletries, shoes and accessories you plan to use in the first 24 hours, along with anything you cannot afford to be without for the entire trip (prescription medications, eyeglasses, passports and travel documents, etc.). If your checked luggage disappears temporarily you are good to go until it shows up. If it disappears permanently – or at least the duration of your trip, you have your essentials to get you by until you can go shopping and supplement what you brought with you in your carry on.

Next post, I’ll tell you my lost baggage story.

Cheers!

Terri

Today in History